A dick with a future
A dick with a 401k plan and retirement benefits.
Anonymous said: imagine a dragon who hoarded librarians and every so often knights come to rescue them and the librarians get very upset because the dragon is quiet and reshelves everything neatly and the knights are Very Annoying
can I just
LOOKIT THE DRAGON READING A BOOK
The dragon is happy because the librarians help it find good books about dragons :)
Maybe that’s where I should apply next.
*looks up local listings for dragon lairs*
Today, we had a family dinner for my mom’s birthday dinner.
My cousin, Lisa, and I were discussing cigarettes, smoking, and e-cigs (just the two of us) when my grandmother butts into the conversation and says (paraphrasing) “Don’t ever get smoke cigarettes, they are impossible to quit. It would be better to smoke heroin, because it is easier to quit.”
Fucked up right? Well let me give some context.
First, I have already had a lengthy battle with drug addiction, and I have not touched meth in four years. Saying that to an addict is fucking terrible.
Second, my cousin Lisa’s younger sister Sarah died from complications related to heroin abuse. I got the call about her death during my 12th birthday party. My cousin and her sister were very close and she still hasn’t recovered from Sarah’s passing.
What the actual fuck.
And that doesn’t even cover the racial slurs by my uncle and the dissecting of my future career (Anthropology career, more like “do you want fries with that”)
Fucking hate people.
family dinners more like
"never apply logic to Doctor Wh-"
nO MOTHERFUCKER I WANT A CERTAIN SOMEONE TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS SHITTY WRITING AND FOR TURNING MY FAVORITE SHOW INTO AN ILLOGICAL MASS FILLED WITH “IMPOSSIBLE GIRLS” AND “BLOCKBUSTER PLOTS”
look at this space egg
#space dragon though#black with thin membrane wings that sparkle with stars#eyes like blazing suns#and when they go to breathe fire their bodies light up like the northern lights#[clutches chest]#SPACE DRAGONS